Here's my favorite scene from my dad's Halloween party:
DAD: (drunk and probably high) Have you checked out the rec room? I got this awesome Flat Tire poster from a friend.
ME: (totally sober and not having a good time) Do you mean Fat Tire, like the beer?
DAD: Ha ha, I guess I don't know because I don't drink very much.
ME: Ha ha. Sure.
DAD: If I drank a lot I'd know what that beer was really called!
ME: Or you could just read it right.
DAD: Or I could just smack you.
(Awkward silence.)
END OF PLAY
Jeff and I left pretty soon after that.
Anyway, to end things on a positive note, here's a picture of my niece: